Stable

He seems to have come through the surgery OK.  A follow-up visit with the surgeon yesterday, who reported that he'd "gotten 100 percent" of the carcinoma, and reduced the dressing.  M was there and told me that there hasn't been any cognitive loss, either.  I'm not sure about that - over the weekend there was a burst of excitement when he discovered a "big black dog" that he'd never seen before (Babe, his favorite tabby cat) wandering around the apartment.  He's been dreamy and incoherent for several days.  But all of that could be the Tylenol 3 talking - a codeine high, in other words.  It'll take a few more days to sort out all the symptoms and see where things stand.

But on balance, a pretty good outcome - better than last year's, by far.

According to M, my father's situation is "extremely stable."  Hearing that left me depressed.  The best thing you can do with a stable situation is leave it in place.  The last thing you want to do is destabilize it.  But that's exactly what I'm going to have to do, because the resources for New York travel run out in about four months.  I've got the Maryland nursing home directory in front of me and I'm getting ready to book my first appointments, and get ready to transfer him. 

I'm not relishing any of it, and in between flurries of research, I find myself hoping that something will change and let me keep him where he is - or force me to move him without any second thoughts.  Reality hasn't been all that cooperative up 'til now, so I'm not expecting miracles.

I can hope, though.

I'll let you know what I'm hoping for as soon as I figure it out.

Comments

[Shu]

If only things DID change for the positive!

I, too, hang on to the hope of a reversal of our situation. In recent days there has been some 'improvement' to the extent that the agitation is not so bad and she seems more resigned, but that may be the help of anti-depressants.

From experience and from all I've been told and read, there will be an adjustment period that will make you feel like the most awful person on earth; I'm waiting for that to subside here 4 months later.

I'd give anything if I had the ability to provide the same level of car for my mother at home that she has (and needs). I'd give anything else I had to give if we could create the nursing home into the cozy, comfortable, hugely-attentive situation she had at home. There is such a need! Why does nothing (affordable) fill it?

I am SO glad your father is doing well coming through the surgery. I think you may be right about the Tylenol-3. Those type meds caused temporary change with our situation as well.

Hugs and warm thoughts continue to beam y'all's way from Southern climes.

Quietly,
Shu

[Mike T.]

Alan,

Glad to hear that your dad seems to have pulled through; I've had him (and you) in my prayers the last couple of weeks, and I'll continue to do so.

Regards from your friend,

Mike T.

[Alan G. Ampolsk]

Again, sorry to be late in responding but I think I'm almost current now.

Shu - thanks, and see comments above.

Mike - many thanks, I really appreciate that and I'm sure it's having an effect.