The Story So Far

  • I'm a writer, photographer, consultant. Age 51. My father was a reporter and editor. Then he became something other than that. He died February 8, 2010 at 87. He was widowed in 2003. His decline started a little earlier. His sister died of Alzheimer's.

May 2011

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Thank God your father has you to be his advocate. You are doing exactly the right thing. I only hope that when the time comes for me to make the hard decisions, I can do it as well as you are.
That they would have someone like Dr H in such a position is incredible.
Let's hope in this case pneumonia turns out to be the old man's friend again.
Good luck and keep posting.


Suck it up and drive on, Soldier. You are doing an excellent job. I also hope to be able to follow your lead and be as strong an advocate for my husband.


It is so hard. I was just "there" and couldn't believe how quickly the tumble down the last hill comes. We "hoped" for pneumonia, too, while HATING the fact that there truly is no going back and fixing the dying brain. God, I'm crying now at the moments y'all are going through. You're doing the right things, but oh, how hard to be right. No one who has not been in that position -- deciding how someone will die -- can have a glimmer of the hard pain you have to take on. Bless you all. Let me know if I may be of any help, especially since we're now in MD.

Alan G. Ampolsk

Just catching up on comments - as always, thanks to all. Re: Dr. H, at some future point I'll have a conversation with the nursing home administration - that was a bad experience from so many perspectives. But in general we seem to be getting things moved in the right direction.

Shu - thanks, and I'll send you an e-mail in the next couple of days.

Julie - driving on, yes, since there only seems to be one way out of here...

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